全面评测-托福
89分
原文内容
The reading passage three reasons to support sending people to an asteroid is the best colonization option. However, the lecturer questions the idea and all these reasons.The first reason in the reading passage is that low gravity in asteroids make it easier for spaceship to land and take off. However, the lecturer argues that low gravity present certain risks. Low gravity environment will lead to losing muscle mass and bones density. Astronauts who stay in this environment in a few months suffer from health problems including muscle mass and bones density loss. Therefore, if astronauts stay in this environment in a long time, they will suffer more serious problems.The second reason in the reading passage is that there are a lot of valuable elements and precious metals in some asteriods, so we can make money by mining these. However, the lecturer argues that this is not the whole picture. We need to consider cost. The cost on supporting colonies and transport metals is high and will reduce profits. We cannot make sure that the price can be remained same. Moreover, if the precious metals are in large quantities, the supply of them will increase and will end up with low market price. Thus, mining minerals is not profitable. The third reason in the reading passage is that some asteriods are easy to reach. However, the lecturer argues that there are also problems that it is difficult for us to return. Some asteriods may come close to Earth and then move away great distances. They cannot stay close to Earth for a long time and will travel far away from Earth, such as Mars. Thus, getting back from these asteriods is a challenge.
批改结果
批改结果
综合评分
89.4
内容29.3
词汇28.9
逻辑17.5
语法13.8
总体评价
总的来说,你的文章写得非常好。你对写作任务的回应准确,文章连贯性和衔接性好,词汇丰富,语法基本准确。你的写作技巧已经达到了很高的水平,继续保持!
分项评价
内容评价
你对写作任务的回应非常到位。你成功地总结了阅读材料中的三个理由,并对每个理由进行了详细的反驳。你的论述清晰,能够准确地反映出讲座的主要观点。
词汇评价
你的词汇使用相当丰富,使用了一些高级词汇和短语,如"low gravity environment"和"precious metals"。这些词汇的使用使得你的文章更具深度和专业性。
逻辑评价
你的文章连贯性和衔接性做得很好。你使用了恰当的过渡词和短语,如"However"和"Therefore",使得文章的流畅度和可读性都得到了提高。你的论点和反驳都有逻辑性,使得读者能够很容易地理解你的观点。
语法评价
你的语法使用基本准确,句子结构多样。虽然有一些小错误,但并不影响读者理解你的观点。
高级表达建议
建议简单句和复杂句穿插使用,增加句式多样性。
句式建议
可以利用基本的句子形式来表达自己的见解。
语法错误 (21处，11个句子)
句子 1
原句：
The reading passage three reasons to support sending people to an asteroid is the best colonization option.
修改后：
The reading passage gives three reasons to support that sending people to an asteroid is the best colonization option.
错误说明：
- 1. 疑似选词不当，在【three】前插入【gives】;
- 2. 疑似介词错误，在【sending】前插入【that】;
句子 2
原句：
The first reason in the reading passage is that low gravity in asteroids make it easier for spaceship to land and take off.
修改后：
The first reason in the reading passage is that the low gravity on asteroids makes it easier for spaceships to land and take off.
错误说明：
- 1. 疑似冠词 限定词错误，在【low】前插入【the】;
- 2. 疑似介词错误，把【in】修正为【on】;
- 3. 疑似主谓不一致，把【make】修正为【makes】;
- 4. 疑似名词单复数错误，把【spaceship】修正为【spaceships】;
句子 3
原句：
However, the lecturer argues that low gravity present certain risks.
修改后：
However, the lecturer argues that the low gravity presents certain risks.
错误说明：
- 1. 疑似冠词 限定词错误，在【low】前插入【the】;
- 2. 疑似主谓不一致，把【present】修正为【presents】;
句子 4
原句：
Low gravity environment will lead to losing muscle mass and bones density.
修改后：
A low-gravity environment will lead to the loss of muscle mass and bone density.
错误说明：
- 1. 疑似冠词 限定词错误，把【Low】修正为【A low】;
- 2. 疑似其他，把【losing】修正为【the loss of】;
- 3. 疑似名词单复数错误，把【bones】修正为【bone】;
句子 5
原句：
Astronauts who stay in this environment in a few months suffer from health problems including muscle mass and bones density loss.
修改后：
Astronauts who stay in this environment for a few months suffer from health problems including muscle mass and bone density loss.
错误说明：
- 1. 疑似介词错误，把【in】修正为【for】;
- 2. 疑似名词单复数错误，把【bones】修正为【bone】;
句子 6
原句：
Therefore, if astronauts stay in this environment in a long time, they will suffer more serious problems.
修改后：
Therefore, if astronauts stay in this environment for a long time, they will suffer more serious problems.
错误说明：
- 1. 疑似介词错误，把【in】修正为【for】;
句子 7
原句：
We need to consider cost.
修改后：
We need to consider the cost.
错误说明：
- 1. 疑似冠词 限定词错误，在【cost】前插入【the】;
句子 8
原句：
The cost on supporting colonies and transport metals is high and will reduce profits.
修改后：
The cost of supporting colonies and transporting metals is high and will reduce profits.
错误说明：
- 1. 疑似介词错误，把【on】修正为【of】;
- 2. 疑似非谓语使用不当，把【transport】修正为【transporting】;
句子 9
原句：
We cannot make sure that the price can be remained same.
修改后：
We cannot make sure that the price can remain the same.
错误说明：
- 1. 疑似时态错误，把【be remained】修正为【remain】;
- 2. 疑似冠词 限定词错误，在【same】前插入【the】;
句子 10
原句：
Moreover, if the precious metals are in large quantities, the supply of them will increase and will end up with low market price.
修改后：
Moreover, if the precious metals are in large quantities, the supply of them will increase and will end up with a low market price.
错误说明：
- 1. 疑似冠词 限定词错误，在【low】前插入【a】;
句子 11
原句：
Some asteriods may come close to Earth and then move away great distances.
修改后：
Some asteroids may come close to Earth and then move away to great distances.
错误说明：
- 1. 疑似介词错误，在【great】前插入【to】;
修正后的文本
The reading passage gives three reasons to support that sending people to an asteroid is the best colonization option. However, the lecturer questions the idea and all these reasons. The first reason in the reading passage is that the low gravity on asteroids makes it easier for spaceships to land and take off. However, the lecturer argues that the low gravity presents certain risks. A low - gravity environment will lead to the loss of muscle mass and bone density. Astronauts who stay in this environment for a few months suffer from health problems including muscle mass and bone density loss. Therefore, if astronauts stay in this environment for a long time, they will suffer more serious problems. The second reason in the reading passage is that there are a lot of valuable elements and precious metals in some asteroids, so we can make money by mining these. However, the lecturer argues that this is not the whole picture. We need to consider the cost. The cost of supporting colonies and transporting metals is high and will reduce profits. We cannot make sure that the price can remain the same. Moreover, if the precious metals are in large quantities, the supply of them will increase and will end up with a low market price. Thus, mining minerals is not profitable. The third reason in the reading passage is that some asteroids are easy to reach. However, the lecturer argues that there are also problems that it is difficult for us to return. Some asteroids may come close to Earth and then move away to great distances. They cannot stay close to Earth for a long time and will travel far away from Earth, such as Mars. Thus, getting back from these asteroids is a challenge.